George: So, Nico, you're looking reallygreat.
Nico: George, a man has just been murdered.
George: What? I'm just saying.
You shouldlearn to take a compliment.
Nico: *Sigh* Why did he do it George? George: Beats me.
As far as I know, that paintingwasn't worth anything.
Nico: So why steal it? I think there is moreto this than money, there must've been something important, within the paintingitself.
George: Or maybe it was painted over something? Nico: Like what? George: Well, knowing the kind of wierdoswe normally attract, my guess would be some sort of ancient manuscript.
Nico: Hmm, maybe.
We need to find out moreabout the painting, do you remember the name of the artist? George: Err.
Nico: *Sigh* Me neither.
George: I wonder if this guy has any clueson him.
Nico: I'll let you do the honours George.
Laine: What are you doing? George: Err.
I was trying to revive him.
Laine: And just how exactly were you planningon doing that, might I ask? He's dead.
George: Oh, ya know, let the moisture evaporatefor a couple of weeks, and then rehydrate him.
Laine: That's sea-monkeys.
George: Oh, I err, thought it was for gunshots.
Good job I'm not a doctor, huh? Laine: *Sigh* Imbecile.
George: Okay Nico, you'll need to distractLaine while I search the body.
Nico: What do you want me to do? George: I'll think of something.
George: (Inner monologue) It was a fruit bowl.
From a distance I thought the fruit was real, but up close I could see thatit was just decorative, and made of glass.
George: I picked up a solid glass banana.
I wasn't sure why; some might call it kleptomania, I onthe other hand prefer to think of it as the inability to refrain from takingobjects that don't belong to me George: Here ya go! Nico: And what exactly do you expect me todo with that? George: I dunno, use your imagination.
I'msure you'll find something useful to do with it.
Nico: Don't tempt me George.
George: Easy! Just use it to distract Lainesomehow.
Nico: What?! George: Oh fine, I'll do it myself.
Nico: What are you going to do? George: I'm going to use my shear cunningand ingenuity to distract Laine with a glass banana, so that I can search the freshcorpse.
Nico: Now this I have to see.
George: Hey Laine! What d'ya think of this? Laine: It's a banana made of glass.
George: Wow, you're good! What else canyou tell me about it? Nico: Oh, boy.
Laine: It has an IKEA stamp on it.
George: Well, would you look at that?.
Sowhere do you think it was bought from? Laine: *Sigh* You Sir do nothing to improveAmerica's image.
George: What'd ya mean? Nico: Well, this is going well.
George: Okay, plan B.
Laine: Excuse m- Nico: Oh my God George! What have you done? George: I know, my banana's ruined! Nico: You could've killed him! George: Oh, he'll be fine, he was last time.
Besides he was already killing himself.
Nico: Last time? George: Anyway, we'd better hurry Nico.
George: Here I go again, searching the pocketsof another dead-guy.
Nico, why can we never just have a nice day outParis? I really wanna see the Louvre.
Nico: Not now George.
George: What are you doing later? Nico: George! George: Alright, alright!.
Nico: Anything? George: Yeah.
I pulled out a cellphone fromthe deceased's jacket pocket, and passed it to Nico.
Nico: I'll check his call log.
Here George,he dialled this number just minutes before he was shot.
George: Let me see, I'll give it a ringfrom my phone.
George: Hmm, no answer.
Nico: George, I've just had a look in theguy's contacts.
What do you make of this? George: "Mr Safe" followed by a four digitphone number? Nico: Obviously he'd put it in there asa way of remembering his safe combination.
Wow, what an idiot.
Nico: Not very safety conscious perhaps, butthis could help us to find his killer George: (Internal Monologue) I typed the combinationfrom the art gallery owner's phone contacts into the keypad,and it opened with a satisfying beep.
Nico: What's in there? George: Looks like receipts and insurancedocuments for the artwork in the gallery.
Nico: Is there anything for the stolen painting?George: Yeah, the receipt.
Turns out he'd bought it directly from the artist, there's an address and everything.
Nico: That's brilliant George! Now we can- Nico: George is that your phone ringing? George: Err.
Nico: That ring-tone, is that-? George: Yes Nico, yes it is.
Hang on, it'sthe number I just dialled.
Nico: Well, go on George, answer it, see whoit is! George: (Into phone) Y'ello? Bob: Allo, this is Bob from Pizza Place, sorryI missed your call.
How can I help? George: Err hi, could I have a large pepperoniwith fries.
Bob: Of course Monsieur, anything else? George: No, that's it thanks.
Is it okayif you give me the address so I can pick it up myself? Bob: No problem Monsieur, it's 125 Rue deMoussy.
Your order will be ready in ten minutes.
George: Thanks Bob.
Nico: Hungry George? George: I now have the address of the pizzacompany that the killer pretended to work for.
And yes, I am a little.
Nico: Well done George.
Moue: Hold it right there! Moue: What has gone off here? Ah, MademoiselleCollard, Monsieur Stobbart, I should have guessed you'd be involved.
Nico: The art gallery owner was shot buy aman disguised as a pizza delivery man.
George: He stole the painting that was overthere.
Moue: Ah, and I see he emptied the safe too.
That was him.
Moue: And what about him? Is he dead? George: Nah, he's fine.
Moue: Ah, he regains consciousness! Nico: Uh-oh.
George: Aw crap.
Well, you've got our statementsnow Inspector, I'd love to stay and chat but.
Moue: Hold on Monsieur, I haven't finishedwith you yet.
Laine: And neither have I.
Moue: What was that Monsieur? Laine: He knocked me out! George: Yeah, that sure was one despicablepizza guy.
Maybe the owner should've tipped better.
Laine: Not him, YOU! Moue: Is this true monsieur? Did you attackthis gentlemen? Laine: With a banana! Moue: Mon Deu! George: It's not what it sounds like! Besideshe's really obnocious! Moue: Be that as it may- Laine: I beg your pardon? Moue: It is still a crime to attack membersof the public with vegetables.
Moue: What did you just call me? George: I didn't, I was just correctingyou.
Moue: Don't act all innocent with me.
George: I'm not! Moue: So, you admit you're not innocenteh? George: No, I err.
What? Moue: I think you'd better come down tothe station with me Monsieur.
George: Am I under arrest? Moue: Oui.
George: Aww fudge monkeys.
Nico: I told you it was a bad idea George.
Moue: You two wait here for one of my colleagues, while I deal with this criminal.
George: Nico, bring bail! Nico: I wasn't going to hang about thisgallery all day.
I had everything I needed from here, includingtwo solid lines of enquiry: the pizza company's address, and the detailsof the stolen painting's artist.
I'm sure George could wait a few hours.